兔样, 上坛时兔拿衣物。
店员只关心您有没有小孩、现金或者信用额度够不够。
哦不, 21 世纪了,信用额度随时可以上调。
俺和大家说一个 1999 年左右, 网上流传很广的小故事。
有家大公司的VP很奇怪地发现某位雇员某天销售额高达 300,000 刀,他便去实地调查。
“事情是这样的”,销售员说,“一个男士来买东西,俺先卖给他一个小号鱼钩。然后告诉他小鱼钩是钓不到大鱼的,于是他买了大号鱼钩。俺又提醒他,这样不大不小的鱼就跑了。于是他又买了中号鱼钩。接著,俺推荐他小号、中号以及大号的鱼线。接着俺问他上哪儿钓鱼,他说海边。俺提议买条船,顺便带他到船的专柜,卖给他 20 尺双发动机的渔船。他说他的细蛋车拖不动这么大的船。俺领他到汽车销售区,卖给他一辆丰田巡洋舰。最后还帮他办了分期付款、白金会员和延长保固。对了,俺还帮他办了房贷和坎昆的分时度假屋。”
VP后退几步呆萌地问道: “一个客户来买个鱼钩,你能卖给他这么多东西和服务?” “不是的,”这位售货员回答道,“他来帮老婆买织针的。俺告诉他: ‘您的周末算是毁了,您干吗不去钓鱼呢?!’”
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俺没啥文化, 大伙都知道, 初中毕业。俺家境贫寒。俺相信大部分房奴朋友和俺一样能体会到什么是家境贫寒。每一分钱都想掰成几瓣来花。咱要的是啥?“Best Bang for your Buck!” 这才是俺信奉的)x(格。
本世纪初, 俺老婆拉着俺去京城的国贸长见识。俺看到杰尼亚(Zegna)的西装, 价钱也是类似帝瓦雷的音箱价钱。
虽然西装的价钱是白纸黑字印得很清楚,远远超出俺的可负担范围。
。。。。。。
那时候国家干部的基本工资才 600 多人民币。 而俺经常买的是人大附中旁边的大华服装厂的衬衫,款式很规矩,价钱还算实惠。
杰尼亚的西装标价是 28000.00 人民币哎。
**Ali G, is a satirical fictional character created and performed by British comedian Sacha Baron Cohen.
Ali G 在某届哈佛学生开学典礼的演讲里面有一句经典的话:“大家都是逼出来的。”
“We all came from the same place: punani.”
逼死俺也掏不出 28000人民币的零花钱啊, 首师大旁边两房一厅租一年才 28000(那时)。
俺脸皮比较厚, 还是大胆地问营业员:
“这衣服的小数点印错位置了吧?”
你知道本世纪初京城国贸的营业员小姐是有态度的。
她白了俺一眼, 微笑也懒得堆了。
没搭理俺。
后来俺才知道,
这是种农贸市场里经典的 CLOSING TACTIC/TECHNIQUE。
当时俺是有数码相机的, NIKON995。
于是俺拍了几张照片,就扔下老婆直奔官园服装批发市场。
还真给俺找到了同样的版型。 50 元人民币到手。 当然, 开价是 2000 人民币。
后来, 俺把这件 50 人民币的西装穿到了加拿大。
在电梯里, 一个犹太大叔忍不住摸了几把这件衣服, 不停地说好。
俺告诉他只要 8~9 刀加币的时候,
他下巴都掉了, 说自己很快就会去北京玩。
俺赶紧用才学到的 HEBREW 跟他道别, “霸师拉哈~! 霸师拉哈~!”
温哥华有家 TOMLEE MUSIC, 也卖施坦威,贝森朵夫,贝希斯坦等大牌钢琴。
TOMLEE MUSIC 的雇员从来没有以貌取人。
服务态度可以说一流。
祖国首都似乎也有 TOMLEE MUSIC, 大家不妨去逛逛。
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俺知乎阅读总量只有 9000万,没跨出一小步 (n<1亿)。盐值低迷(3年过去了还900+)希望长点盐值。俺的回答您当笑话看看就算了。
“老麦, 大家都说你是笑话、论坛孤儿和神棍。”
“没错。 只有万分之0.5的读者赞同俺的观点。”
人生观、财富观、学习观等等东西, 俺的散文里面都有体现。因为俺文化程度低, 逻辑混乱,辞不达意, 中一病合倂发作, 所以散文很散。如果您能耐着性子看完俺的回答和散文, 那也是个奇迹, 请在您自己的背后拍几下, 跟自己说声 "酷多思"(kudos)。
上面的笑话上世纪末已经在网上流传,改编无数, 俺转贴其中一个版本给大家。 2001 A young guy from Texas moves to California and goes to a big mega-department store looking for a job. The manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?" The kid says, "Yeah, I was a salesman back home in Texas." Well, the boss liked the kid so he hired him on the spot. "You can start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did." His first day on the job was rough, but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down. "How many sales did you make today?" the boss asked. The kid says, "One." The boss says, "Just one? Our sales people average 20 to 30 sales a day. How much was the sale for?" The kid says, "$101,237.64." The boss says, "$101,237.64? What the hell did you sell?" The kid says, "First I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold him a medium fish hook. Then I sold him a larger fish hook. Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast, so I told him he was going to need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him that twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4 x 4 Blazer." The boss said, "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and truck?" The kid says, "No, he came in here to buy a box of tampons for his wife and I said, 'Well, your weekend's shot - you might as well go fishing.'"