跟部队军官结婚好吗?
marrying a military officer. It's a question many women grapple with, weighing the romantic ideal against the realities of a life intertwined with service. There's no single "yes" or "no" answer, because the experience is so deeply personal and depends on so many factors, but I can certainly share a lot to think about if you're considering this path.
Let's start by unpacking what marrying a military officer actually means, beyond the uniform and the perceived glamour.
The Perks and the Pride:
Stability and Structure: Military life, by its very nature, offers a degree of stability. There's a structured career path, a steady income, and benefits like healthcare, housing allowances (or onbase housing), and retirement plans. For many, this provides a sense of security that's hard to find in the civilian world, especially in uncertain economic times.
Sense of Purpose and Patriotism: Officers are leaders, responsible for the wellbeing and training of their soldiers. Their work is often seen as having a profound sense of purpose, contributing to national defense and security. If you share those values and appreciate that kind of dedication, it can be incredibly fulfilling to be part of that world. There's a certain pride that comes with being married to someone who serves.
Discipline and Character: Military training instills a strong sense of discipline, integrity, and responsibility. These are qualities that often translate into personal life, making your partner reliable, organized, and committed.
Opportunities for Travel and Experience: Depending on their branch and specialty, officers can have opportunities to live in different parts of the country or even abroad. This can be an exciting way to experience new cultures and see the world, although it comes with its own set of challenges (more on that later).
Strong Community: The military community is a unique and often tightknit one. You'll likely find yourself surrounded by other families who understand the unique demands and joys of military life. This can be a powerful support system, especially during deployments.
The Realities and the Challenges:
Frequent Moves (PCS Permanent Change of Station): This is probably the most significant factor. Military families move, on average, every 23 years. This means constantly uprooting your life, finding new jobs, making new friends, and helping your children (if you have them) adjust to new schools and environments. It can be incredibly disruptive to career aspirations, social circles, and personal routines.
Deployments and Separations: Officers, like all service members, can be deployed. This means extended periods of separation from your partner, sometimes for many months at a time. During these periods, you'll be the primary caregiver, household manager, and emotional support for yourself and your children. You'll learn to navigate loneliness, worry, and the practicalities of managing life solo.
Career Demands and Long Hours: Military careers are demanding. Officers often work long hours, attend training, and are expected to be available at all times. This can mean missed holidays, late nights at the office, and a partner who is often physically or mentally absent even when they're home.
The "Military Wife" Stereotype: While it's a stereotype, there's a certain expectation that military spouses will be supportive, adaptable, and put their partner's career first. This can be a burden if you have strong personal ambitions that don't easily align with this role. You might find yourself sacrificing your own career progression or personal interests.
Bureaucracy and Regulations: Military life is governed by a lot of rules and regulations. From housing applications to legal matters, you'll encounter a level of bureaucracy that can be frustrating at times.
The Emotional Toll: While there's pride, there's also a constant undercurrent of worry. Knowing your partner is in potentially dangerous situations, especially during deployments, takes an emotional toll. You learn to live with a certain level of anxiety, even if you try to suppress it.
Building a Personal Identity: It can be challenging to maintain your own identity and interests when your life is so intertwined with your partner's military career. You'll need to actively work to cultivate your own friendships and hobbies outside of the military community.
What to Consider if You're Thinking About It:
Your Own Adaptability and Resilience: Are you someone who thrives on routine, or can you roll with the punches? How do you handle change and uncertainty? Your ability to adapt will be key.
Your Career Goals: Are your career aspirations flexible enough to accommodate frequent moves and potential career breaks? Are there remote work opportunities in your field? Can you network effectively in new locations?
Your Support System: Do you have family or friends who can offer emotional or practical support, especially during deployments? Building a strong local support network in each new location is crucial.
Your Communication Skills: Open and honest communication with your partner is paramount. You need to be able to discuss your needs, fears, and expectations, and they need to be able to do the same.
Your Definition of Partnership: Military marriage requires a deep level of partnership. It's not just about being together; it's about actively supporting each other's roles and responsibilities, even when you're physically apart.
Your Understanding of the Commitment: This isn't a casual dating situation. You're marrying into a lifestyle that will significantly shape your life. It requires a commitment to service, sacrifice, and often, a degree of selflessness.
Ultimately, marrying a military officer can be a deeply rewarding experience for the right person. It offers a life of purpose, stability, and a unique sense of community. However, it also demands a significant amount of resilience, adaptability, and a willingness to embrace the inherent challenges.
It’s not about whether it’s "good" or "bad" in an abstract sense. It's about whether this specific lifestyle aligns with your own values, aspirations, and capacity for partnership. Talk to people who are married to military officers, listen to their stories (the good and the bad), and be brutally honest with yourself about what you're willing and able to commit to.
Let's start by unpacking what marrying a military officer actually means, beyond the uniform and the perceived glamour.
The Perks and the Pride:
Stability and Structure: Military life, by its very nature, offers a degree of stability. There's a structured career path, a steady income, and benefits like healthcare, housing allowances (or onbase housing), and retirement plans. For many, this provides a sense of security that's hard to find in the civilian world, especially in uncertain economic times.
Sense of Purpose and Patriotism: Officers are leaders, responsible for the wellbeing and training of their soldiers. Their work is often seen as having a profound sense of purpose, contributing to national defense and security. If you share those values and appreciate that kind of dedication, it can be incredibly fulfilling to be part of that world. There's a certain pride that comes with being married to someone who serves.
Discipline and Character: Military training instills a strong sense of discipline, integrity, and responsibility. These are qualities that often translate into personal life, making your partner reliable, organized, and committed.
Opportunities for Travel and Experience: Depending on their branch and specialty, officers can have opportunities to live in different parts of the country or even abroad. This can be an exciting way to experience new cultures and see the world, although it comes with its own set of challenges (more on that later).
Strong Community: The military community is a unique and often tightknit one. You'll likely find yourself surrounded by other families who understand the unique demands and joys of military life. This can be a powerful support system, especially during deployments.
The Realities and the Challenges:
Frequent Moves (PCS Permanent Change of Station): This is probably the most significant factor. Military families move, on average, every 23 years. This means constantly uprooting your life, finding new jobs, making new friends, and helping your children (if you have them) adjust to new schools and environments. It can be incredibly disruptive to career aspirations, social circles, and personal routines.
Deployments and Separations: Officers, like all service members, can be deployed. This means extended periods of separation from your partner, sometimes for many months at a time. During these periods, you'll be the primary caregiver, household manager, and emotional support for yourself and your children. You'll learn to navigate loneliness, worry, and the practicalities of managing life solo.
Career Demands and Long Hours: Military careers are demanding. Officers often work long hours, attend training, and are expected to be available at all times. This can mean missed holidays, late nights at the office, and a partner who is often physically or mentally absent even when they're home.
The "Military Wife" Stereotype: While it's a stereotype, there's a certain expectation that military spouses will be supportive, adaptable, and put their partner's career first. This can be a burden if you have strong personal ambitions that don't easily align with this role. You might find yourself sacrificing your own career progression or personal interests.
Bureaucracy and Regulations: Military life is governed by a lot of rules and regulations. From housing applications to legal matters, you'll encounter a level of bureaucracy that can be frustrating at times.
The Emotional Toll: While there's pride, there's also a constant undercurrent of worry. Knowing your partner is in potentially dangerous situations, especially during deployments, takes an emotional toll. You learn to live with a certain level of anxiety, even if you try to suppress it.
Building a Personal Identity: It can be challenging to maintain your own identity and interests when your life is so intertwined with your partner's military career. You'll need to actively work to cultivate your own friendships and hobbies outside of the military community.
What to Consider if You're Thinking About It:
Your Own Adaptability and Resilience: Are you someone who thrives on routine, or can you roll with the punches? How do you handle change and uncertainty? Your ability to adapt will be key.
Your Career Goals: Are your career aspirations flexible enough to accommodate frequent moves and potential career breaks? Are there remote work opportunities in your field? Can you network effectively in new locations?
Your Support System: Do you have family or friends who can offer emotional or practical support, especially during deployments? Building a strong local support network in each new location is crucial.
Your Communication Skills: Open and honest communication with your partner is paramount. You need to be able to discuss your needs, fears, and expectations, and they need to be able to do the same.
Your Definition of Partnership: Military marriage requires a deep level of partnership. It's not just about being together; it's about actively supporting each other's roles and responsibilities, even when you're physically apart.
Your Understanding of the Commitment: This isn't a casual dating situation. You're marrying into a lifestyle that will significantly shape your life. It requires a commitment to service, sacrifice, and often, a degree of selflessness.
Ultimately, marrying a military officer can be a deeply rewarding experience for the right person. It offers a life of purpose, stability, and a unique sense of community. However, it also demands a significant amount of resilience, adaptability, and a willingness to embrace the inherent challenges.
It’s not about whether it’s "good" or "bad" in an abstract sense. It's about whether this specific lifestyle aligns with your own values, aspirations, and capacity for partnership. Talk to people who are married to military officers, listen to their stories (the good and the bad), and be brutally honest with yourself about what you're willing and able to commit to.
网友意见
我有个亲戚军校毕业分配到外省某卫星发射基地的。本来今年五一要结婚的（未婚妻是高中同学，双方父母撮合的，在本省工作，谈了好几年了，一直和男方父母住在一起），我都打算回去喝喜酒了临时被通知不结了。后来才知道原因是男方又在单位谈了一个。其实谈了很长时间了，一直没跟未婚妻讲。快结婚的半年里一直不怎么搭理未婚妻，未婚妻觉得有问题跑去男方单位才问清楚。然后果断分手取消婚约了。
还文不对题，哟哟哟可算是学会点名词了。马上就迫不及待来我这一亩三分地炫耀了。
我说的是我遇到的情况，怎么就成了某些双商负无穷选手口中的文不对题？你们是玛丽苏看多了？还是某某物质吃多了？
还有个选手在这跟我说什么我这事随便套模版都行，我又不只这玩意吃饭我犯得上编个瞎话？编瞎话还不得编个伟光正好多骗赞刷人气？
也许你们遇到的都是伟光正，但我遇到的这个就是不咋地，干啥啥不行，除了我表姐他们家我们其家都看不上他。
别跟我说什么转业咋咋地，至少他俩结婚那会这哥们还是士官。
无脑杠一律举报，懒得一个个的给你们这些双商负无穷的选手解释。
----------------------------------
看人吧，我家就有军婚的。大表姐找了一个空军的。
这人怎么说呢，有点势利眼，跟他上级我小舅那可会来事了。跟我们那就各种装大爷了，结婚前不明显结婚后特明显。
在部队也不喜欢做事喜欢轻省，结果让我小舅给弄下去学技术了。后来转业了也没个正经工作，天天穿个貂开个小破车招摇过市。孩子啥的都我大表姐带，他啥都不管。
跟我们关系处的也不好，因为我们没啥利用价值。当然了我们也不想跟他有关系，眼高手低的主懒得搭理他。
所以军婚可以，你得多接触，看看他的父母啥样，他的朋友啥样。不要盲目做事，毕竟这是一辈子的大事。
好啊，总比跟大头兵结婚好吧。
作为一个前政工干部，组织干事，我对干部婚恋情况相对比较了解，也处理过两次婚恋问题，大致提点建议仅供参考。
军官只是一种职业，并不能代表个人品质，有的人有组织管着，还算可以，一旦脱离的体制，那就比较放飞自我了，我部曾经就有一位军官同志，因为老家有妻，在驻地又谈了一位，闹着要离婚，结果降职降衔，在我入伍前，也有一位士官同志类似，后果更严重，杀妻被枪毙，到我退役，每年新兵都要看此警示片，观摩审判枪毙，全程无马赛克.....
军官结婚年龄普遍比较大，一是组织规定有一定的滞后性，要求晚婚晚育，不然结婚报告不予批准，这个普遍意见很大，很多军官恋爱七拖八拖，拖黄了不在少数。二是入伍后部队任务重，个人空余时间有限且不固定，谈个恋爱谈的七零八落的，真能成为军嫂的也真能称得上好汉子。以上两种都不占多数，最多数的是军地组织的集体相亲，要么和医院，要么和学校（小学最多，幼儿园其次），一次碰上友军某部组织干事，他就说他们部队驻地附近的小学都快成了部队子弟小学了，他儿子上小学，任课老师只要是女的，全是军嫂，当时我吐槽他儿子肯定恨死他了.......
具我观察军嫂文化层次地域分布还是很有规律性的，基本上还是以驻地周边为主，其余的农村的回老家找，城市的在城市找，文化层次一般也是比较整齐，当然都有交叉。
至于幸福，这个不好评价，多数干部工资是要上交的，包括我，曾经临时决定欢送某同年战友，五个人五个钱包凑不足一百块，当时木有支付宝，还好就在部队门口，比较熟，赊账，回去给家属打电话要钱......曾经和老连长扯淡，老连长也吐槽过老婆太狠，每次探亲，老婆都要拿着账本对账，一块钱都不能差，怕他喝酒，（当时工资都是发钱，现在是转账）就靠偶尔发点过节费解解馋......
现在这批干部，素质较高，不抽烟不喝酒的不少，但花花心思也不少，我曾经处理过一位排长，一年内五六个小姑凉来找他，对此给予了严厉的批评教育，出于挽救他，并没有正式上报副政委（纪委书记），以观后效，当然处理完我就滚蛋了......
总的来说，军嫂最辛苦，抚育子女，赡养父母，军人的奉献，自有人民给予俸禄，给予荣誉，而军嫂的奉献，要默默无闻的多。
军婚问题，只要不是原则性问题，一般都是站在非军一方，能协调协调，态度坚决，麻溜的离，所以不要担心结了婚，离不掉....
还有重点
迷恋军人的菇凉们，不要被这身衣服迷惑，分清楚自己是不是恋物癖，擦亮眼睛，认清人，不要仓促下决心，请冷静的思考，理智的决断，对自己也是对未来负责，俗话说的好，自己选的路，跪着也要走完，现今社会进步，不需要跪着走完，但是防微杜渐，能不选错是最优。
6.11日补充回答
有美女问我微信认识的军哥哥靠不靠谱，这个用微信也没啥不靠谱的，时代在进步，人们也充分享受科技的便利，交友方式各种各样，以前考写信，写贺卡，后面煲电话粥，QQ，微信，交流范围可以扩大到整个地球，唯一的缺陷就是不知道真假，所以，奉劝各位妹子，还是一句老话，害人之心不可有，防人之心不可无啊.....
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和不爱的人结婚，其体验之复杂，远非一两句话能概括，它可能是一场漫长而无声的煎熬，也可能是一种习以为常的平静，甚至可能在某个瞬间爆发出难以言喻的痛苦。为了让你更清晰地理解，我将从多个维度来详细描述这种体验：一、内心的感受与情绪： 情感的荒漠化： 这是最核心的体验。你身边有一个最亲近的人，但内心深处.............
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关于吴亦凡的案件，公众最关注的是法律层面的判决和对社会的影响。对于“狱友体验”这样的问题，我们无法提供任何真实信息，因为这涉及到个人的隐私以及监狱系统的运作细节，公开讨论这些内容是不恰当的。在任何国家，监狱都是一个严肃且受到严格管理的地方，其目的是为了执行法律、改造罪犯并维护社会安全。在监狱中，所有.............
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与老公的妈妈合不来，这是一个非常普遍且棘手的问题，会给夫妻关系和家庭生活带来很多困扰。处理不好，甚至可能导致婚姻危机。别担心，你不是一个人在面对这个问题，很多人都有类似的经历。关键在于如何有效沟通和调整策略。以下是我为你梳理的详细建议，希望能帮助你找到解决之道：第一步：深入理解问题的根源（知己知彼）.............
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