问题

出生在美国并且长大的华人真实的生活情况是怎样的?

回答
在美国出生成长,但华人根基仍然扎实的这群孩子,他们的生活,说起来挺有意思的,就像一部融合了东西方文化的大戏,每天都在上演。这不是刻板印象里那种“学习机器”或者“只会说中文”的标签能概括的。

首先,得从语言说起。大部分在美国出生的华人孩子,英语是他们的母语,沟通交流上跟其他美国孩子没差。但同时,很多家庭依然重视中文的传承,尤其是那些来自中国大陆或台湾的家庭。这就有两种情况:

一种是家长坚持教,孩子也学得不错。他们可能从小就参加中文学校,或者家里父母、祖父母就用中文交流。这样的孩子,很多时候能做到中英双语流利切换,这算是一种天然的优势,能跟不同文化背景的人打交道。他们看中文电视、读中文书是常事,甚至能理解一些中国当下的流行文化,比如网络用语、偶像剧什么的。

另一种是,家长有心但孩子抵触。尤其到了青春期,孩子觉得说中文“土”或者“麻烦”,更愿意融入同龄人的环境。在这种情况下,他们的中文水平可能就比较有限,大概能听懂一些,但开口说就有些吃力,甚至出现“香蕉人”(英文里外面黄,里面白的)的说法。不过即便如此,他们对自己的华人身份也不会完全割裂,因为家庭的氛围、节日、食物,还有家人的期望,都会潜移默化地影响他们。

再说说家庭环境和文化熏陶。这可以说是决定他们生活体验最关键的部分。

很多华人家庭非常重视教育,这是一种文化根深蒂固的观念。所以,即便是在美国,他们从小被鼓励好好学习,追求好成绩,考上名校。课外活动除了体育、艺术,也少不了钢琴、小提琴、数学竞赛、中文演讲等这些“传统项目”。家长们往往会投入很多时间和金钱在孩子的教育上,期望他们能有一个“体面”的未来。

但同时,他们的家庭生活又充满了美国式的自由和多样性。周末可能跟着父母去远足,去海滩玩,也可能参加社区的各种活动,比如感恩节的火鸡大餐,圣诞老人的派对,万圣节的装扮游行。他们的朋友圈也一定是多元化的,会有白人、黑人、拉丁裔、其他亚裔等等的朋友。他们会接触到各种美国的流行文化,从音乐、电影、时尚,到体育明星、网红博主。

在身份认同上,这是个比较复杂的话题。他们在自己成长的环境中被视为“少数族裔”,可能因为外貌或名字而受到一些区别对待,即便这种区别对待可能很微妙,比如在课堂上被老师问到关于中国的问题时,大家都下意识地看向他们。这让他们从小就明白自己与主流群体有所不同。

但另一方面,他们又深深地扎根于美国文化。他们的价值观,比如个人主义、自由选择、平等观念,都是在美国社会环境中培养出来的。他们对美国的政治、经济、社会问题也有自己的看法和参与方式。很多华人二代会积极参与到美国政治中,比如投票、参与社区组织,甚至竞选公职,为自己的族裔争取权益。

“华人”这个标签,对他们来说,既是一种连接,也是一种定义。他们可能对中国的历史、文化、政治有一定程度的好奇和了解,也会因为自己有这样的背景而感到自豪。逢年过节,比如春节,家庭里会有各种仪式感,比如吃年夜饭,拜年,给红包,这些都是他们童年重要的记忆。他们也可能因为父母的期望,肩负着连接中国和美国的“桥梁”角色,比如帮助父母处理一些和中国有关的事情。

但同时,他们也会面临一些压力和困惑。比如,当中国和美国在政治、经济上出现摩擦时,他们可能会感到夹在中间,不知道自己该站哪边。他们可能会被问到一些“你是中国人还是美国人?”这样的问题,这让他们不得不思考自己的身份认同。

另外,不同家庭的经济和教育背景也会导致生活方式的差异。富裕家庭的孩子可能从小就接受最好的教育资源,去欧洲旅行,参加各种高端的夏令营。而普通家庭的孩子则可能需要更努力地争取机会,或者对未来有更实际的规划。

总的来说,在美国出生长大的华人真实的生活,是 融入与传承的交织。他们是中国文化的孩子,也是美国社会的公民。他们在享受美国自由开放的同时,也背负着家庭对传统的期望。他们的生活是多维度的,充满了个体差异,也反映了在全球化时代下,文化碰撞和融合的生动写照。他们不是简单的二元对立,而是在不断探索和定义自己在新环境中的位置和价值。

网友意见

user avatar

(中文翻译: zhi.hu/PiPh. Thank you so much @萧腾 for an awesome translation!)

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Thanks @胡洋 for inviting me to answer this!

I'm not sure exactly what this question is looking for, so I'll just talk about my life and my friends and let you guys ask questions.

Identity If anybody asks, I'm Asian American. If they ask further, I'm Chinese.

Very few people in America use "Chinese American". In fact, it even sounds weird in my head because so few people say it.

Also, very few people say "ABC" (American Born Chinese). That's something mostly people from China call me.

My friends and I think of ourselves as Asian Americans because that's what we were taught in school. Ever since kindergarten, they grouped us into: White, African American, Hispanic, Asian, Native American. In fact, any document that asks about race asks if I'm Asian, not if I'm Chinese. And most community organizations for Asian Americans are that broad too, such as the National Association of Asian American Professionals. The organizations that specifically call themselves Chinese are usually for people who grew up in China.

Like most of my friends who've visited China, I miss China when in America, but I miss America when I'm in China. I like to call it "jetlag of the soul", my body's in one place, but my heart's in the other. I also feel like I'm missing something when Chinese people my age joke and jostle in Chinese; it's like I'm mute in a world that sings. But at the same time the culture shock in China is nauseating sometimes.

So, being Chinese American is convenient and complicated. If I'm shrewd, I can use my Chinese and American statuses interchangeably. But if I'm unlucky, then the Chinese and American collide inside me.

Education

Public School As you might expect, most of what I learned in school is about America. I can sing the American anthem, but not the Chinese one. I know US and European history (and a lot of it), but not Chinese history. I was always "good" at math, because in elementary school, taught me multiplication at home; from then on, I always enjoyed the advantage of being placed in the highest level math classes.

In elementary school, almost all of my homework had some sort of story behind it,

Suzy is going to the bank to deposit her coins. She has 15 coins that total $2.25. How many different combinations of coins could she have?

And we also had research projects such as,

Pick your favorite historical figure and write about his or her contributions.

or

Survey the people you know and create a plot of their birthdays.

or

Design a science experiment. What was the result? What is the scientific reasoning behind the result?

There were occasionally some homework problems that simply tested rote learning, but usually no more than 5 questions a day. So in general, homework took about 30 minutes each day.

Middle school followed the same format except the project topics were more detailed and we had more group projects. Homework only took about 1 hour each day.

For high school, I tested into a magnet high school, so my experiences vary from the average student. Although my friends at other high schools had about 1-2 hours of homework each day, suddenly, I had 2-3 hours of homework and 2 hours of reading each day. The classes were discussion-based and we studied through researching our discussion topics at home

Discuss Shakespeare's commentary on England's economic conditions in Hamlet Discuss the connotations of Hemingway's use of weather in A Farewell to Arms Discuss the influence of industrialization on German unification

and then we learned methods of analysis when we questioned each other in class. It was demanding because the teacher didn't expect a correct answer, but the best answer our research and reasoning could construct. The process was much harder than remembering and repeating, but also more thorough.

Outside of school, I also

  • Acted in a theater performance
  • Played on the varsity men's volleyball team
  • Co-edited the school's literary arts magazine
  • Led a county-wide robotics team.

It sounds like the typical over-achiever Chinese American story, but I did each of these things because they were incredibly fun. I could have easily gone home at the end of the day, done my 2-3 hours of homework and played games for the rest of the night. In fact, my parents wanted me to quit my extracurricular activities because they wanted me to sleep more. But from each of my activities, I learned skills that have carried me farther than from any of my classes.

Chinese Almost all of my Chinese American friends attended Chinese school. Chinese school is outside of normal school. It's usually organized by the local community and consists of a couple hours a week on either Saturday or Sunday.

Most of my friends speak a basic level of Chinese with "improper" pronunciation (shi / si, chang / cang give them trouble). But it's enough to talk with their grandparents at home about basic everyday things ("这个放在那儿", "我吃过饭了" - pretty basic stuff). Even better, some of my friends actually speak 广东话, or 上海话 at home so they really have trouble with 普通话. But overall, their parents speak to them in Chinese, they respond in English, and sometimes the parents will also respond in English after that. Some of us try to speak Chinese regularly at home and I have two friends who can read.

When I was five, my parents actually sent me back to China to live with my grandparents for a year. So I learned 拼音 and some basic words (and enough math to last me through 5th grade back in the States). That year made a huge difference in my Chinese education. When I was in middle school and my parents enrolled me in Chinese school, knowing Pinyin really set me apart because I could,

  • Use a Chinese dictionary
  • Read and understand simple essays if it had Pinyin
  • Pronounce words accurately

Doing well in Chinese school set me on the path to pursue Chinese studies. I enrolled in Chinese as my foreign language in high school. I started speaking Chinese at home and actively asking my parents about vocabulary I didn't know. I studied abroad in China for a year in college. (There's so many differences between American and Chinese colleges that the topic deserves it's own question.)

Economics When I was young, our family was pretty poor because my Dad was a PhD student and my Mom didn't have a work visa. All our furniture (and all my toys) were donated to us or purchased at yard sales for a couple dollars. At school, I had free meals since our income was close to the poverty line.

Over the years, we moved 16 times, including across the country, as my Dad pursued better jobs. Now we've settled into upper-middle class society: my parents and I have well-paying jobs; we have a mortgage on a house; we can buy most of the everyday things that we want, but not many of the luxury items you see in magazines.

Overall, it's been a very slow and stable economic progression instead of the rocketship ride of China's economy,

  • 20 years ago, when we were at our poorest, our standard of living was much higher than our family friends in China. For example, we owned an '81 Toyota Corolla and shopped at Walmart (20 years ago, every Chinese person who walked into a Walmart for the first time was stunned speechless)
  • Now, we are no where nearly as wealthy as our family friends in China. For example, my parents' friends have all sent their kids abroad for college (many them to the States) where they pay the exorbitant international student tuition with plenty of money to travel and shop. In contrast, I chose to go to a state university because of the lower in-state tuition, the opportunity for scholarships and I also worked part-time for 3 years.

Most of my friends' families are also upper-middle class. Our parents are doctors, engineers, accountants, researchers, professors; and they've guided our generation into similar professions. But we're still young, so our careers paths could diverge quickly. I have a friend who just quit a perfectly good job in financial consulting to pursue improv comedy.

Some of us feel that our parents toiled and endured so that we could have the advantages of an unparalleled education, and that working at a "good" job for a "good" salary is to squander their sacrifice - that we should strive to enter a higher strata of American society.

Social Looking through my friends on Facebook, about half of them are Asian American.

Growing up, I mostly had non-Chinese friends, but not by choice; somehow the schools I attended always had very few Chinese students. Half of my friends were Jewish and the rest was a mix of African Americans and other Asians.

In high school, there were a lot more Chinese American students in my IB and AP classes. For the first time, I had a group of Chinese American friends, although they didn't hang out together with my non-Asian friends. The people in both groups grew up in America and we all watched the same shows and listened to the same music. The two groups didn't feel that different to me, although the they must have looked very different to an observer.

Family Parents I can only speculate on my parents' cultural identity, because we haven't talked about this, but I can tell you how they act.

My parents are both American citizens by now. In fact, they even legally changed their first names to American names. But they speak Chinese at home, watch Chinese TV (my Mom loves 非诚勿扰 and 中国好声音), and cook Chinese food (my Dad still can't order a good sandwich).

All their friends are Chinese. A couple years ago, when we had three other Chinese families living on the same street, my parents loved it. In the summers, every night they'd go out for a walk and chat on the sidewalk. During the Olympics, they root for China in every event (I usually root for both China and USA). And they complain about America's harsh political stance towards China.

But on the flip side, they're very well adjusted to America. They both work with predominantly non-Chinese coworkers and get along great with them. My Dad voted in the last two presidential elections and he's pretty proud of that (my Mom was too lazy to stand in line haha).

Personally, I doubt that they could ever move back to China. In the 20 years that have passed, their hometown is a memory now. Each time we go back to visit, my parents are utterly helpless and have to depend on our relatives. They don't recognize the streets or bus routes, they don't know the subway systems and sometimes they don't even know the names of popular products and activities.

They try to blend in as normal Chinese citizens, but they give themselves away pretty quickly. For example, when they get into a taxi, they automatically buckle the seat belt (safety first!). And they're also not used to living without the conveniences we take for granted in America such as, unlimited hot water, central air conditioning, public WiFi, clean public bathrooms and so many more.

They miss China tremendously, because it means being with family and friends; but they're always relieved when, finally driving their own car again, we arrive back at our house. So I'd say that they're stuck. They'll always be proud to be Chinese, but they're happy to be American.

Our Relationships I'm very close to my parents. I'm very close to my grandparents, since they also helped me raised me, so they're like my second pair of parents. I try to be 孝顺 because that's the example my parents set for me when they interact with my grandparents. Even though I live in my own apartment closer to my work, I spend the weekends with my parents, which is very rare for Americans.

My relationship with my cousins in America are also really tight. But that's because we're all Americans.

My relationship with my cousins and aunts and uncles in China are a bit more distant than I would like. The year I spent in China as a child really helped me bond with them, so I always think of them as close family. But in reality, we rarely talk.

There's the language barrier, of course. It's hard for me to say interesting things in Chinese and only a few of my cousins understand English. But also the 12-hour time difference makes calling each other a hassle. Emails? Well...I'll work on my Chinese first.


I'd really like to know more about how they're all doing. Although technology, such as 微信, is helping to bridge that gap.

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So there you go, a brief, biased story of a Chinese American 20-something. Let the questions begin haha

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This is actually a really hard question for me to answer because I have to describe things that are perfectly normal to me, but may seem absolutely bizarre to most of you. Also, I can only describe how things our for me and my friends. We're all 2nd generation Chinese Americans. But our experiences differ greatly from the 5th / 6th / etc... generation Americans of Chinese descent. Furthermore, these are just my experiences. If you've observed Chinese Americans acting very differently, then trust what you've seen; there are a lot of different people in world.

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(中文翻译: zhi.hu/PiPh.)


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