近期美突击检查中国赴美人员党员身份，连入党原因也要盘问，对此你怎么看？ 第1页

12月3日凌晨更新：已完成人工翻译。请各位雅正。

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完全机翻自 @文质彬彬鲁智深 的回答 近期美突击检查中国赴美人员党员身份，连入党原因也要盘问，对此你怎么看？

侵删。后续我会逐步人工校对。

Why are you not a member of the Communist Party?

—— When you ask me why I joined the Communist Party, I am curious why you are not.

To put it simply, sir, I just want to protect consumers. Really, nothing more.

Because consumers are being looted and robbed!

If you think this sounds bad, then please let me tell you what is happening

Consumers have nothing, no resistance

Consumers are being looted. Inflation makes our money depreciate rapidly. Our purchasing power is diminishing rapidly. Merchants are robbing us and reaping our wealth ruthlessly!

This is an XX watch. It sells for 170 USD from online retailers. In order to avoid legal disputes, I won't mention which retailer it is. Including the precious metal components inside, the manufacturing cost of this watch is 20 USD, the manufacturer sells it to the distributor for 40 USD. The distributor to the retailer for 70 USD, and the retailer sells it for 172 USD to me, and of course, will to you at this price.

I am an Asian. The way you look at it, my math and science scores should be good and I have some deposits, so I will use my deposits to buy the watch. I may also use my credit card and other credit payment methods to buy it, but I will not install it. I will settle the payment in full before it starts calculating the interest. A rational federal elite like you would choose the same wise way as I did, right?

But I believe that there may be some of your friends who are a little less smart and a little less rich than you are. Let's call him George. If George wanted this watch, he might choose to take it directly at 0 USD, and then pays 19.9 USD every month for the next 12 months. In other words, he actually paid 238.8 USD for this watch, which is 68.8 USD more than my payment, or is equivalent to 1.4 times the price.

George may have also bought TVs, washing machines, refrigerators, computers, headphones, mobile phones, Apple Watch, console games, his wife's cosmetics, clothes, and various other gadgets in the same way. He bought these things, played with them, and threw them at the bottom of a box to collect dust. He still has a lot of things he wants to buy. The clever guy in marketing department tells him that these things are so good that he has to try them, or his life is worthless, so the amount of money he owes grows more and more. For every paycheck, the remainder part for George gets less and less. In the end, the paycheck gets taken away by the credit card company right after it is paid to George. George had to rotate the new cards to pay off the old card, owed more debt, and then collect a pile of garbage in the house.

Mr. Officer, do you have such a friend? A friend who is so full of rubbish at home but actually has nothing? A friend who loses his job, the house will be taken away by the credit card company, and his wife will leave him?

If we can't guess the god's will, and George's wife loves him a little more, she might eventually have to sell herself to the bad-hearted rich man to help George pay off his debts. Maybe she will sell herself to the banker who lent George the money in the first place.

We are the Robin Hood for the consumers

Yes, that's it, sir. Georges are in trouble but have nowhere to go. Thousands of Georges gathered together, in groups, and they'll be waving signs on Wall Street to protest.

So we came up with an excellent idea. we organized an organization from, by, and for the "poor people". We build our own factory, set our own price and control the price within a reasonable range; we contact every manufacturer and ask them to adjust the unreasonable price back to the range. For those manufacturers who refuse to cooperate and are extremely bad, We kick off their heads with leather boots. We built our own bank to defeat the banks of those bad bankers, and prevent the bad bankers with bad conscience from stealing Georges' last coins.

All we do is for three things:

1. Ensure that manufacturers will provide better and more affordable products to consumers at a reasonable price

2. Prevent bad people from stealing good people's gold coins

3. Let everyone be more dignified, be it rich or poor

That's it, nothing more. This is our philosophy, to organize good people and demand "fairness" from bad people. Provide fairness to rule-abiding manufacturers and poor consumers, let everyone work with dignity, and earn glorious returns and profits. In order for our ideas to be effective, we organized 80 million people and called ourselves "Communists."

So sir, this is the reason why I joined the Communist Party. Are you a consumer? Do you also want the world to be more fair to everyone?

If so, I would like to know why YOU DIDN'T JOIN THE COMMUNIST PARTY?

(Part of the article borrows from Joseph Sugarman's mail-order advertisement "Consumer Hero")

你为什么不是共产党？

—— 当你问我为什么加入共产党，我很好奇你为什么不是共产党

先生，简单点说吧，我只是为了保护消费者，真的，仅此而已。

因为消费者正在被掠夺、被抢劫！

如果你觉得这听起来很糟糕，那么请让我来告诉你正在发生什么

• 消费者一无所有，毫无抵抗

消费者正在被掠夺着，通货膨胀让我们钱迅速贬值，我们的购买力在快速下降，商家正在对我们强取豪夺，无情收割我们的财富！

这是一块XX手表，在网络零售商那里它卖170美元，为了避免法律纠纷，我就不说是哪个零售商了。 算上里面的贵金属元件，这块表的制造成本是20美元，厂家以40美元的价格卖给流通商，流通商以70美元的价格卖给零售商，零售商又以172美元的价格卖给我，当然也会以这个价格卖给你。

我是一个亚洲人，在你们的印象中，我的数理成绩应该不错，也有一些存款，所以我会用我的存款买下它。我也有可能用我的信用卡和某呗这样的信用支付方式买下它，但我不会分期，我会在计算利息之前全部结清。像您这样理智的联邦精英应该会选择和我一样明智的方式对吧？

但我相信您朋友圈里应该有不少比您稍微笨一点，也稍微拮据一点的朋友，我们姑且叫他乔治吧。如果乔治想要这块表，他可能会选择直接0元拍下，然后在之后12个月里每个月支付19.9美元。也就是说他为这块表实际上支付了238.8美元，比我足足多给了68.8美元，相当于付了1.4倍的价格。

乔治可能用同样的方式买了电视、洗衣机、冰箱、电脑、耳机、手机、Apple Watch、单机游戏、老婆的化妆品、衣服以及其他各种各样的新奇玩意儿。他把这些东西买回来，把玩一番，然后扔在箱底吃灰。他还有很多想买的东西，写广告的聪明人告诉他这些东西好得不得了，他一定要试一下才行，不然这辈子就白活了，然后他欠的钱就越来越多了。每个月的薪水发下来，余留在手里的部分越来越少，到最后薪水刚刚发下来就被信用卡公司给划走了。乔治不得不刷新卡还旧卡，欠下一屁股债，然后家里多了一堆垃圾玩意儿。

警官先生，请问您有没有这样的朋友呢？这样家里堆满了垃圾，实际上却一无所有的朋友？一旦失去工作，房子就会被信用卡公司收走，老婆就会离他而去的朋友？

如果世界再造化弄人，乔治的老婆又再爱他一点的话，她说不定回去向坏心的富人卖春，来帮乔治还债，甚至可能恰好卖给那个借钱给乔治的银行家也说不定。

• 我们是消费者的罗宾汉

是的，这就是了，先生。乔治们身陷麻烦却无路可走。千千万万个乔治聚集在一起，就会成群结队，在华尔街上挥舞着牌子抗议。

所以我们想出了一个绝好的主意，我们组织了一个以“穷人”们为基础的组织。我们自己建厂，自己定价，把价格控制在合理的范围之内；我们和每一位制造商接触，让他们把不合理的价格调整合理，对于那些拒不配合的，坏极了的制造商，我们就用皮靴敲爆他们的头；我们建自己的银行，打败那些坏银行家们的银行，防止良心坏掉的坏银行家偷走乔治们的最后一个硬币。

我们所做的一切就是为了三件事情：

1.保证制造商们会提供更好的、价格更合理的产品给消费者

2.防止坏人们偷走好人们的金币

3.让每个人都能更有尊严，无论是富人还是穷人

就是这样，仅此而已。这就是我们的理念，把好人们组织起来，向坏人们索要“公平”。把公平提供给守规矩的制造商和可怜的消费者们，让所有人有尊严地工作，堂堂正正地赚取光荣的回报和利润。为了让我们的理念能够发挥效果，我们组织起了8000万人，并且自称“共产党人”。

所以先生，这就是我加入共产党的理由。您是消费者吗？您也希望世界对所有人都更加公平吗？

如果是的话，我很想知道你为什么不加入共产党呢？

（文章部分借鉴了约瑟夫·休格曼的邮购广告《消费英雄》）

美国人到中国旅游

一进海关，被警察带到小黑屋

美国人很紧张，心想难道我上飞机以前吸大麻的事情被知道了？

他说，我要打电话给我律师

警察挥挥手，说，别怕，我们就问几个小问题

美国人心想，哼，你们这些黄皮猴子，给你们几个胆子应该也不敢拿我怎么样

他说，你们可能认为我摸了空姐屁股，但我是拿水的时候误碰到的，Just a joke，并不是想调戏她

警察说，我不是问你这个问题

美国人说，那你问吧

你支持民主党还是共和党？

什么意思？

就是，比如，你今年投票给了特朗普还是拜登？

嗯，我投了拜登

哦，为什么？

什么为什么？

为什么要投拜登？

啊，因为特朗普是个混蛋你知道吗？他就是个xxxxxxxx，所以，我必须选拜登

有别的原因吗？

别的原因？

对，其它原因

没有，没有别的原因，我只是因为特朗普是个xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx，才投的拜登

好的，下一个问题，你支持堕胎吗？

什么意思？堕胎？问这个干什么？

回答就好了

嗯，我没想过，如果是我老婆的话，我想我得先搞明白那孩子是谁的

我只是问你是否支持堕胎是女性权力

当然，当然是她的权力，但这个孩子如果是我儿子，我也有一半的权力！

所以，你不支持？

不，不能这么说

那你到底是支持还是不支持？

Fxck！这是我的隐私！你无权询问我这种问题！叫我律师来！

冷静，你的律师现在还在美国，他下飞机以后要先隔离14天才能来见你

我不管，我是美国人，我要找大使馆！我不接受你问我这种愚蠢的问题！

你们大使馆刚刚撤了！

啥？

我说，你们大使馆刚刚撤了，大使也回国了

Motherfuxk，所以我现在是被你们给软禁了吗？

不是，你只需要回答我的问题，问完就可以走了

我能打电话吗？

不行

好吧，你问吧

你支持堕胎吗？

不支持

你认为黑人权力是否值得尊重？

当然

你支持接受难民吗？

支持

你接受难民住你家吗？

凭什么？

你再想想，你支持接受难民吗？

不支持

那你为什么投票给拜登？

Fxck！我怎么知道？这两个问题有啥关联？！

好吧，下一个问题，你支持大麻合法化吗？

不支持

为什么？

为什么？你们国家不是不允许吸毒吗？大麻在你们国家不是禁止的吗？

我问你在美国支持不支持

不支持，不反对

那你是中立啰？

对

偏哪种？

哪也不偏

好，你觉得穆斯林群体的权力要尊重吗？

当然

如果他们要占用马路呢？

跟我有什么关系？

比如你刚好要路过那条路

那我不支持

可是你刚说你支持

我的律师呢？我要我的律师！我受不了了，妈妈，我妈呢？你们打电话给我妈！让她来接我！

……

五个小时以后

……

所以，最后一个问题

好的，您问吧

你爱美国吗？

您说我应不应该爱，您说什么是什么

我问你自己爱不爱

爱或者不爱，只是一个感觉，我可以爱也可以不爱

那到底爱不爱

您说我应不应该爱都行，我爱中国！