When faced with questions challenging the existence of transgender people, particularly those framed as "crossnationality" or "crossage," it's important to respond thoughtfully and informatively. Here's a detailed approach, aiming for a natural and empathetic tone, free from robotic phrasing:
First, it's crucial to acknowledge the questioner's perspective, even if it stems from a misunderstanding or a lack of information. A harsh or dismissive response is rarely productive. Instead, aim for clarity and education.
Addressing the "CrossNationality" Argument:
When someone suggests that being transgender is akin to being "crossnationality," implying it's an arbitrary or impossible identity shift, the core of the response should be to distinguish between national identity and gender identity.
Explain the Nature of National Identity: National identity is typically understood as a legal and political affiliation with a country, often tied to birthplace, citizenship, or cultural heritage. While people can change their nationality through legal processes (naturalization, renunciation), this is a formal, legal act.
Explain the Nature of Gender Identity: Gender identity, on the other hand, is an internal, deeply held sense of being male, female, both, neither, or somewhere else along the gender spectrum. It's not about citizenship or legal status, but about one's innermost sense of self. This internal experience is not a choice in the same way that one chooses to become a citizen of another country.
Highlight the Difference in Origin: National identity is externally assigned or acquired through legal means. Gender identity is an internal psychological reality. It's like comparing the label on a box to what's actually inside the box. The label can be changed (nationality), but the contents are inherent (gender identity).
Use Analogies (Carefully): You could draw a parallel to something else that's an internal sense of self, though it's important to avoid oversimplification. For example, you might say, "Think of it this way: nationality is like the passport you hold, which is a legal document. Gender identity is more like who you are at your core, independent of any documents. You can't change your passport to become a different person, but your understanding of yourself can deepen and become clearer over time."
Addressing the "CrossAge" Argument:
The "crossage" comparison is often used to suggest that gender identity is a fleeting or childish whim, or that it's about wanting to be a different age. This is fundamentally a misunderstanding of what gender identity means.
Clarify that Gender Identity is Not About Age: Emphasize that gender identity is about one's internal sense of being male, female, or another gender, and has nothing to do with chronological age. It's not about wanting to be younger or older.
Explain that Understanding Can Evolve: What can change over time is a person's understanding and expression of their gender identity. As people grow and learn more about themselves and the world, they may come to understand their gender identity more clearly. This is a process of selfdiscovery, not a rejection of their current age.
Distinguish Between Age and Gender: State clearly that age is a measure of time lived, while gender identity is a facet of personal identity. They are entirely separate categories. You wouldn't say someone is "crossage" because they enjoy activities typically associated with a different age group; similarly, a transgender person isn't "crossage" because their gender identity differs from what was assigned at birth.
Focus on the Innate Nature: Reiterate that for many transgender people, their gender identity feels innate, something they have experienced for a long time, perhaps even from childhood, though they may not have had the language or understanding to articulate it until later. It's not a new desire based on age, but a recognition of a longheld truth.
General Principles for Responding:
Be Patient and Informative: The goal is to educate, not to win an argument. If the person is genuinely curious, take the time to explain clearly and kindly.
Use "I" Statements (When Appropriate): If you are transgender or have personal experience, you can share your perspective using "I feel" or "For me." This can be powerful.
Refer to Trusted Sources: If you're not sure how to phrase something, or if the person is resistant, you can suggest reputable resources like GLAAD, PFLAG, or medical organizations that affirm transgender identities.
Focus on Shared Humanity: Ultimately, the conversation should circle back to respecting individual identity and dignity. Everyone has a gender identity, and it's important to respect how people identify themselves.
Don't Get Drawn into Debates About "Proof": Gender identity is a personal experience, not something that can be empirically "proven" to another person's satisfaction. The focus should be on acceptance and respect for that lived experience.
Know When to Disengage: If the conversation becomes hostile or unproductive, it's okay to politely end it. "I've explained my perspective, and I don't think we're going to agree on this. Thank you for your time."
Putting it all together in a natural way:
"That's an interesting comparison you're making. It sounds like you're trying to understand how someone's identity can be so different from what people might expect.
When you talk about 'crossnationality,' I think it's helpful to see the difference between national identity and gender identity. National identity is often about legal status, citizenship, or where you're born – it's a formal connection to a country. You can change your nationality legally, right? Gender identity, though, is different. It's a much deeper, internal sense of who you are – whether you feel like a man, a woman, both, neither, or something else. It's not about legal papers or borders; it's about your inner self, your core identity. It's not something you pick up like a new passport; it's something you discover about yourself.
Similarly, the 'crossage' idea doesn't quite capture what gender identity is. It's not about wanting to be a different age, or rejecting your age. Age is about how long you've been alive, a measure of time. Gender identity is about your sense of self as male, female, or another gender. For many transgender people, this sense of gender has been with them for a long time, even from childhood, though they may only find the language and understanding to express it later in life. It's about recognizing who you are, not about wanting to be younger or older.
Essentially, we're talking about different kinds of identity. National identity is a legal affiliation, and age is a chronological fact. Gender identity is a fundamental aspect of who a person is, a deeply felt internal experience. It's about aligning your life and your outward presentation with that inner truth, and that's a very personal journey."