中国最老的脱口秀表演者。
2300年前正是气候温暖的时候,漆树长得也喜人,除去采漆的两三个月忙碌时节,庄子在漆园每日十分清闲,有大把的时间编写段子去填满空闲。
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林语堂翻译的庄子真像现代英文脱口秀,地道,洗练,过瘾。听庄子怎么讲故事的,尧帝想要让位于许由,说道:日月闪耀之际,一个火把的光算得了什么;大雨倾盆之时,何必还要在田里辛苦灌溉?
绝非常人的许由又是如何作答:我要天下何用呢?名吗?名不过是现实的影子,我为什么要为影子劳碌?鸟在大树上筑巢,只需一根树枝容身;河狸在河中饮水,不过求得喝饱一肚子。
2300年前正是气候温暖的时候,漆树长得也喜人,除去采漆的两三个月忙碌时节,庄子在漆园每日十分清闲,有大把的时间编写段子去填满空闲。老朋友惠子常常过来炫耀自己和王公大臣的趣事,来酸一酸庄子。
一个晌午日头刚往西边走的时候,惠子假装若无其事得说,哎,魏国王子给了我一个不一般的葫芦种子,我种下去之后没想到结出来一个(不是七个)硕大的葫芦,接水用吧太大了,装满水拎不动;切半做瓢吧,又太平了,不好用,我只好把它给砸了。
庄子见他欠收拾,直言道:是你不知道怎么用大东西罢了。宋国有一浣纱世家,祖传一秘方,冬天可防手裂。一天突然来个生人出百金巨款去买那秘方。家族一合计,我们总共浣纱也挣不了几个钱,卖给他!那人找到吴国王子,在吴越初冬水上打仗之时派上大用场,仗打赢了的吴国大王一高兴赏了一块封地给那人。啧啧,你看看,宋国那家人现在还是每天只是浣纱,找谁说理去。
所以说,你那个大葫芦,为啥不做成一个筏子,随波逐流而去?你却在这抱怨它没啥用,你脑子怕不是堵了吧?(I fear your mind is stuffy inside.)
这时候高潮来了,惠子淡淡地说:我有棵大树啊,树干虬枝错节,没法做木材,啥也干不了。虽然在路边,但是没有木匠会多看它一眼。你说的话,就像这棵树。
庄子继续:你有这个大树不知道怎么用,为啥不把它种在荒野,没事在大树下溜达溜达,即使躺在下面睡觉也行啊。这树于常人无用,于是不用担心被斧头砍去,对树不也是一件乐事吗?
有趣如庄子,一定不会介意我拿他的话和脱口秀做比。他只会微微一笑,继续躺在大树下做着关于蝴蝶的梦。
It was on this very subject that the Emperor Tang spoke to Chi, as follows: "At the north of Chiungta, there is a Dark Sea, the Celestial Lake. In it there is a fish several thousand li in breadth, and I know not how many in length. It is called the kun. There is also a bird, called the peng, with a back like Mount Tai, and wings like clouds across the sky. It soars up upon a whirlwind to a height of ninety thousand li, far above the region of the clouds, with only the clear sky above it. And then it directs its flight towards the Southern Ocean.
"And a lake sparrow laughed, and said: Pray, what may that creature be going to do? I rise but a few yards in the air and settle down again, after flying around among the reeds. That is as much as any one would want to fly. Now, wherever can this creature be going to?" Such, indeed, is the difference between small and great.
Take, for instance, a man who creditably fills some small office, or whose influence spreads over a village, or whose character pleases a certain prince. His opinion of himself will be much the same as that lake sparrow's. The philosopher Yung of Sung would laugh at such a one. If the whole world flattered him, he would not be affected thereby, nor if the whole world blamed him would he be dissuaded from what he was doing. For Yung can distinguish between essence and superficialities, and understand what is true honor and shame. Such men are rare in their generation. But even he has not established himself.
Now Liehtse could ride upon the wind. Sailing happily in the cool breeze, he would go on for fifteen days before his return. Among mortals who attain happiness, such a man is rare. Yet although Liehtse could dispense with walking, he would still have to depend upon something.
As for one who is charioted upon the eternal fitness of Heaven and Earth, driving before him the changing elements as his team to roam through the realms of the Infinite, upon what, then, would such a one have need to depend? Thus it is said, "The perfect man ignores self; the divine man ignores achievement; the true Sage ignores reputation."
The Emperor Yao wished to abdicate in favor of Hsu Yu, saying, "If, when the sun and moon are shining, the torch is still lighted, would it be not difficult for the latter to shine? If, when the rain has fallen, one should still continue to water the fields, would this not be a waste of labor? Now if you would assume the reins of government, the empire would be well governed, and yet I am filling this office. I am conscious of my own deficiencies, and I beg to offer you the Empire."
"You are ruling the Empire, and the Empire is already well ruled," replied Hsu Yu. "Why should I take your place? Should I do this for the sake of a name? A name is but the shadow of reality, and should I trouble myself about the shadow? The tit, building its nest in the mighty forest, occupies but a single twig. The beaver slakes its thirst from the river, but drinks enough only to fill its belly. I would rather go back: I have no use for the empire! If the cook is unable to prepare the funeral sacrifices, the representative of the worshipped spirit and the officer of prayer may not step over the wines and meats and do it for him."
Hueitse said to Chuangtse, "The Prince of Wei gave me a seed of a large-sized kind of gourd. I planted it, and it bore a fruit as big as a five bushel measure. Now had I used this for holding liquids, it would have been too heavy to lift; and had I cut it in half for ladles, the ladles would have been too flat for such purpose. Certainly it was a huge thing, but I had no use for it and so broke it up."
"It was rather you did not know how to use large things," replied Chuangtse. "There was a man of Sung who had a recipe for salve for chapped hands, his family having been silk-washers for generations. A stranger who had heard of it came and offered him a hundred ounces of silver for this recipe; whereupon he called together his clansmen and said, 'We have never made much money by silk-washing. Now, we can sell the recipe for a hundred ounces in a single day. Let the stranger have it.'
"The stranger got the recipe, and went and had an interview with the Prince of Wu. The Yueh State was in trouble, and the Prince of Wu sent a general to fight a naval battle with Yueh at the beginning of winter. The latter was totally defeated, and the stranger was rewarded with a piece of the King's territory.
Thus, while the efficacy of the salve to cure chapped hands was in both cases the same, its applications were different. Here, it secured a title; there, the people remained silk-washers.
"Now as to your five-bushel gourd, why did you not make a float of it, and float about over river and lake? And you complain of its being too flat for holding things! I fear your mind is stuffy inside."
Hueitse said to Chuangtse, "I have a large tree, called the ailanthus. Its trunk is so irregular and knotty that it cannot be measured out for planks; while its branches are so twisted that they cannot be cut out into discs or squares. It stands by the roadside, but no carpenter will look at it. Your words are like that tree — big and useless, of no concern to the world."
"Have you never seen a wild cat," rejoined Chuangtse, "crouching down in wait for its prey? Right and left and high and low, it springs about, until it gets caught in a trap or dies in a snare. On the other hand, there is the yak with its great huge body. It is big enough in all conscience, but it cannot catch mice. Now if you have a big tree and are at a loss what to do with it, why not plant it in the Village of Nowhere, in the great wilds, where you might loiter idly by its side, and lie down in blissful repose beneath its shade? There it would be safe from the ax and from all other injury. For being of no use to others, what could worry its mind?"
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